Monday, November 29, 2010
SHOULD-ING ON OURSELVES
Hi, all. Back with a re-cap/update on our Juneau:
Last Wednesday -- the day before Thanksgiving -- our four month old Pomeranian (who, if I haven't already said it, has brought our family back to life) started showing signs of not feeling well. She was lethargic, not eating or drinking despite my efforts to get food and water in her.
By the evening time, it was clear we needed to take her to the vet where the unexpected prognosis was Parvo. They said it is highly contagious and running rampant right now and that it could have simply been brought in on someones shoes.
Juneau's had two sets of shots (both included the Parvo immunizations) but due to an oversight, we inadvertently missed her 16 weeks shots.
So, we brought her home with anti-vomiting/diarrhea meds and anti-biotics where we had to keep her isolated from our 11 year old black lab as well as my mother-in-law's dogs, whom we're watching until Dec 23rd.
On Thanksgiving I stayed home caring for Juneau in a room (giving her chicken and rice baby food, Pedia-Lite -- per doctors instructions -- and her meds...) while Ed, B and my Mom went to Ed's folks house -- I know this is confusing: it's Ed's biological mother who is on a month long cruise and it's Ed's Dad and step-Mom's (who is lovely and wonderful!) house they went to for the holiday.
Then on Thursday night Juneau started throwing up and making whiny noises -- so first thing Friday morning we took her back to the vet where they recommended she stay for two days to boost her treatment and we were to pick her up on Sunday.
When we weren't in constant contact with the vet calling several times a day to find out how she is -- we had a lot to do on our end: we began washing EVERYTHING in hot water and Clorox 2: all of our sheets, blankets, comforters, clothes, shoes, socks, gloves, scarves, beanies, throw pillows, rugs, dog beds, throws and my mother-in-law's dogs belongings, too...EVERYTHING.
Then we wiped down and cleaned and disinfected everything in our house where she may have had contact and proceeded to bleach our front and back yard and rented a 'Rug Doctor' where we then steam cleaned our carpet, furniture and area rugs. This went on for two and a half days and I reckon I did about 30-40 loads of laundry.
This is for Juneau's protection as well as our black lab and anyone who may enter who have animals.
Mind you, we're going through all this while still having to care for my mother-in-law's dogs while she's in Egypt, Morocco, Greece and The Holy Land. It's not their fault and they still deserve to be looked after as well as we're able -- unfortunately, they're bound to the garage (where they have food, water, blankets, pillows, toys, pee pads and a sofa as well as getting taken outside several times a day for fresh air) as they have to remain separate from the rest of the house/animals during this incubation/quarantine period for their protection as well as Juneau's and T.J.'s (our lab).
Since Wednesday I have lost 10 pounds (which I needed to) and have gotten little to no sleep.
In addition to which, we have depleted our bank account to try and save her life: we are now $1200 in this thing as her stay in the vet has shown little improvement and we are now giving her three more days of treatment there to give her more of a fighting chance -- we've come this far.
So, in addition to being worried sick about her and missing her -- there are also the logistics of finances we are dealing with.
In one year, we are now back to square one.
About five or six months ago when Ed and B said they wanted to get another dog (B's girlfriends Pomeranian had the puppies July 11th) I fought against it and fought hard.
All I could see were vet bills should something come up and I told them over and over -- I begged them, really -- let's not do this to ourselves as I knew B's girlfriend and her family (who raise Pomeranian's) would be able to find another good home for their puppies.
But Ed and B fell in love with one little white furry girl in particular and no amount of logic on my part could convince them otherwise, so, when she was eight weeks old -- to my chagrin and against my better judgement and wishes -- Juneau came to live with us.
Then I fell in love, too.
However, due to this, I am no longer able to see my therapist and had to write him a heart-wrenching E-mail saying that I simply can no longer afford him -- and so, I find it ironic that his words are befitting this very situation: he's always saying "We spend so much of our lives 'should-ing' on ourselves: we should have done this, we should have done that".....and so the story goes.
In this case, we shouldn't have. But...we did and I allowed it, therefore, I have a claim in the responsibility and predicament we find ourselves in financially and emotionally while also preparing for a bleak Christmas: financially and if Juneau doesn't make it.
So, I find myself with conflicted emotions teetering between anger, resentment, regret, sadness...and hope.
I'm going this afternoon to give the vet more money -- $380 of which we had to borrow so we can make rent, pay bills, have groceries and gas in the hopes that two more days will do the trick and bring us home a healthy Juneau.
For this to all be for naught would be cruel -- so, I'm asking once again to please keep Juneau in your prayers.
I'll be back with an update later this week -- my apologies for being a bad blog friend...it simply cannot be helped at this time.
Thinking of you all, thanking you for your good wishes and prayers and wishing you a joyous season.
Peace and serenity,