Friday, August 20, 2010
DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I'M POPULAR
It would appear I am suddenly quite popular as I am receiving unlimited E-mail offers of limited time and quality.
It would seem that I am in the market for penis implants and Viagra.
I am so blessed and grateful that the Viagra distributors chose me to peddle their product on as ideally I am the perfect candidate -- being female and all.
Being also of curious nature, I've always wondered what would happen if I took a Viagra: I would assume my tongue would stick straight out.
Considering I have no penis, an implant is equally useless -- and Ed's is fine, in case you were wondering, thank you...so, no need for me to forward that along to him.
Oh, and then there are the 'Blow out sales' I just can't miss as well as the numerous opportunities for me to wire money to someone in great need. Usually overseas. But only if I don't tell anyone, mind you, as the headers are always marked 'PRIVATE' or 'CONFIDENTIAL'.
Although with power comes great responsibility, I'm nonetheless extremely flattered they chose me to save humanity. I'm up for the challenge.
And I'd like to humbly thank the person who bought a U.K. Lottery ticket on my behalf. I genuinely had no idea that I had so many friends who were world travelers, but thanks to their generosity in thinking of me while on holiday, I have hit the jack pot!
$7,000 U.S. dollars is now on it's way.
What shall I do with it first, I wonder?
Well, loads of Viagra to begin with, of course. Oh, the endless hours of joy, just me and my wayward tongue.
Then I think I'll buy heaps and mounds of the offer I received just this morning for....'Wingless Angels'.
Yep. I've always wanted people.