Wednesday, March 3, 2010

HUMANITY 101



B doesn't like it when I blog about him.

As full as our lives and home are with our extended clan, he is simply private in that he doesn't like to share his business with everyone. Understandable, especially with him knowing that his Mom has no problem with laying it all out on the line in my 'warts and all' confessionals here on blogspot.

He knows me too well.

It's easy for me to sit here and write about my space and boundaries, but I forget that sometimes the people I love the most may need those same things from me.

So, once again, I have to be careful how I tread.

B was in his first fender-bender yesterday -- without giving away any details on the matter let me just say that it was very minor and no one was thankfully hurt, with very minimal vehicular damage.

It happens. We've all been there. They're called 'accidents' for a reason; they are not intentional.

With that said -- and wildly switching gears for a moment here -- I've been pretty vocal how I feel about a blog being dedicated to nothing but ones children and child rearing.

How many times can one read about potty training exploits????

I'd like to think that as women, we are more than the sum of being Moms.

I was a stay-at-home Mom, too, so I get it.

I appreciate that Moms have an outlet in which to talk about their kids and families.

I've been guilty of it, too, although not in such a large context.

After all, my kids are grown and I've 'been there, done that'.

My daughter and I are estranged, as I've written about that on more than one occasion, although, I don't barrage my blog with details about it daily. Especially since one blogger saw fit to recently call me a 'bad mother' and throwing back at me what I have shared on here about my relationship with my daughter.

So, for my sake and that of my kids, I try to be cautious when writing of them.

However, I do want to share this about B: he is a full time college student, almost 20, has a great sense of humor (as he says; "Yep. I'm a pretty funny guy.") and an infectious laugh. He is someone I would want to be friends with even if he were not my child and bound to love me out of obligation--ha!

I'm his Mom and there's a not a darned thing he can do about it. :D

Sorry 'bout that, kid.

B is, simply put, decent to the core.

He just is.

My six foot two, long haired, tattooed and pierced offspring has an intelligent mind and a big heart that rivals his height.

Growing up, he watched his sister get picked on and bullied mercilessly by schoolmates.

This has stayed with him.

Beneath his intimidating presence lies a big heart and a clear knowledge of decency and of what's right and wrong.

There's a reason he has the long-standing friendships and relationships he does.

So, when something happens like what occurred yesterday it's difficult for him to grasp that other people don't think and feel the way he does. It's shameful and leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

He's one to stand up and take ownership and when others don't acknowledge or appreciate his sense of ethics and obligations, it proves to be hurtful.

So, he went to bed last night upset and feeling sick to his stomach calling yesterday 'One of the top five worst days in my life.'

I don't know what the hell is the matter with people and I, too, have trouble with the lack of humanity out there.

Let's give rightful pause, have some perspective and think about the other person and not just ourselves.

This is a big, revolving world and for someone so young like B to appreciate that and to want to right the wrongs even when others don't, it sends the wrong message. Especially when one says to B's face -- in yesterdays incident for example -- that they're going to kindly handle it one way and then, without cause or provocation, turn around and do something else -- in essence, blindsiding him.

These young adults, such as B, will be running things one day -- let's give them the benefit of the doubt and show them that humanity is alive and well by encouraging their sense of decency, not destroying it by putting a big dent in their integrity and trust.

Disheartening them only does a disservice to the future of humanity.

15 comments:

Meeko Fabulous said...

Poor B. I hope everything turns out ok. I'm guessing the other person involved was a total @$$.

Jo said...

Thank you, Meeko. Yes, they were indeed a big ass and told him they would handle it one way and then turned around and did another.

He was beside himself.

Ms Bibi said...

Poor B. It's hard for young man like him in this world full of people trying to take advantage of others.

I hope everything turns out OK for him.

Jo said...

Thank you, Ms. Bibi. I appreciate your well wishes. Yes, isn't it terrible that people have it in them to want to inflict damage to anothers integrity and trust???

Elle said...

Though I'm not a mom, I feel the same was as you about children and child rearing blogs. (Most would say that's probably because I'm not a mom, but really it's that I just don't find that stuff interesting.) That said, my jaw is on the floor over the fact that another blogger called you a bad mother. That's just--Well, there are no words.

It makes me so sad that there are people in this world who simply don't care about hurting others. These people are usually incredibly close-minded, and must lead sad, sad lives.

Poor B. I hope this experience doesn't leave him jaded. He sounds like an awesome man, and we need more people in the world with humanity as great as his.

Andrea said...

Thankful B was okay!!
Blessings, andrea

Steven Anthony said...

I'm glad B is ok...I'm sorry it happened to him:( But he sounds amazing, just like his mama, that apple didnt fall far from the tree;)

Queenie Jeannie said...

I hope today is a new and better day for your son. I'm glad he wasn't hurt!!! Mean people suck.

Megan said...

Visiting from SITS!

Happy Friday.... thanks for sharing your son with us! ...And a piece of your life!

Shannon said...

Hey I found you on SITS and I am glad I did...love the blog...Sorry B is having such troubles...glad he is okay though..I have 4 kids and I make sure my blog is mine...not just an extension of being a mommy...although I will include them some...It is my blog..just for me...I cannot imagine someone saying you are a bad mom...shame on them..you are a doll and I am now a follower/fan/stalker..lol...

Dawn said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Just One Week said...

I think a lot of people struggle with their obvious role as a mom and also their identity as a blogger. I too tire of the constant baby talk - however maybe I will enjoy it and find solidarity in it when I have a baby? Best of luck with you daughter. Such an important relationship, I'm sad to hear it's estranged.

Enjoy you SITS day!

Tisha Berg said...

Hi Jo,

I found your blog through SITS; great site. I SO agree that there are way too many potty blogs out there. I actually coach women on how to define themselves outside of motherhood.
I hope your son has recovered well from his bad experience.
I will be back to visit again soon as I feel I have found a kindred spirit!
Happy SITS day! :-)

Adrienne said...

I too was picked on in school so I can relate to your daughter. There are a lot of mommy blogs out there. While there is a place for a how to blog, I worry sometimes that is all the mom sees herself as. You can be more than just a mom.

Happy SITS Day

Juliet Grossman said...

Hi! I am a Diary of Sad Housewife reader who is SO happy to have found you in your new blog home. Your caring & good intention for your family really comes through in your posts:-) Happy SITS Day!