Wednesday, March 3, 2010
B doesn't like it when I blog about him.
As full as our lives and home are with our extended clan, he is simply private in that he doesn't like to share his business with everyone. Understandable, especially with him knowing that his Mom has no problem with laying it all out on the line in my 'warts and all' confessionals here on blogspot.
He knows me too well.
It's easy for me to sit here and write about my space and boundaries, but I forget that sometimes the people I love the most may need those same things from me.
So, once again, I have to be careful how I tread.
B was in his first fender-bender yesterday -- without giving away any details on the matter let me just say that it was very minor and no one was thankfully hurt, with very minimal vehicular damage.
It happens. We've all been there. They're called 'accidents' for a reason; they are not intentional.
With that said -- and wildly switching gears for a moment here -- I've been pretty vocal how I feel about a blog being dedicated to nothing but ones children and child rearing.
How many times can one read about potty training exploits????
I'd like to think that as women, we are more than the sum of being Moms.
I was a stay-at-home Mom, too, so I get it.
I appreciate that Moms have an outlet in which to talk about their kids and families.
I've been guilty of it, too, although not in such a large context.
After all, my kids are grown and I've 'been there, done that'.
My daughter and I are estranged, as I've written about that on more than one occasion, although, I don't barrage my blog with details about it daily. Especially since one blogger saw fit to recently call me a 'bad mother' and throwing back at me what I have shared on here about my relationship with my daughter.
So, for my sake and that of my kids, I try to be cautious when writing of them.
However, I do want to share this about B: he is a full time college student, almost 20, has a great sense of humor (as he says; "Yep. I'm a pretty funny guy.") and an infectious laugh. He is someone I would want to be friends with even if he were not my child and bound to love me out of obligation--ha!
I'm his Mom and there's a not a darned thing he can do about it. :D
Sorry 'bout that, kid.
B is, simply put, decent to the core.
He just is.
My six foot two, long haired, tattooed and pierced offspring has an intelligent mind and a big heart that rivals his height.
Growing up, he watched his sister get picked on and bullied mercilessly by schoolmates.
This has stayed with him.
Beneath his intimidating presence lies a big heart and a clear knowledge of decency and of what's right and wrong.
There's a reason he has the long-standing friendships and relationships he does.
So, when something happens like what occurred yesterday it's difficult for him to grasp that other people don't think and feel the way he does. It's shameful and leaves a bad taste in his mouth.
He's one to stand up and take ownership and when others don't acknowledge or appreciate his sense of ethics and obligations, it proves to be hurtful.
So, he went to bed last night upset and feeling sick to his stomach calling yesterday 'One of the top five worst days in my life.'
I don't know what the hell is the matter with people and I, too, have trouble with the lack of humanity out there.
Let's give rightful pause, have some perspective and think about the other person and not just ourselves.
This is a big, revolving world and for someone so young like B to appreciate that and to want to right the wrongs even when others don't, it sends the wrong message. Especially when one says to B's face -- in yesterdays incident for example -- that they're going to kindly handle it one way and then, without cause or provocation, turn around and do something else -- in essence, blindsiding him.
These young adults, such as B, will be running things one day -- let's give them the benefit of the doubt and show them that humanity is alive and well by encouraging their sense of decency, not destroying it by putting a big dent in their integrity and trust.
Disheartening them only does a disservice to the future of humanity.