Saturday, February 6, 2010
THIS WEEKS LESSONS
“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!” ~Dr. Seuss
As this week nearly comes to a close, I thought I would share what I learned.
I don't normally do that, but this seemed to be a week of insights.
*I've learned that all those years, after my kids were long past needing a sitter, when Ed gently urged me to a get a job (not just for the income but for myself) -- I fought against it. It would mean leaving my comfort zone -- and I simply didn't have the confidence to carry that off.
Now I feel differently. Doing my '90 Days' blogs' exercises has been enlightening. I'm actively applying for just about anything right now just to get my foot back in the door. I haven't worked outside of the home for two years. Dipping my toe back in the waters of commerce, even in some small way, is something I think I'm ready for.
*I've learned that some people -- at least as of now -- aren't redeemable, in spite of my giving them [very recent] credit to the contrary and it will only affect their spirit and their heart. If they can't let go, change their ways and learn and grow from this -- then they are in for an unhappy existence until they can do so. It disappoints me but it will not affect me.
*I've learned that those people are hurting themselves more than they are me and those who believe in them.
*I've learned that one young person in my life is full of strength that they didn't know they had and has acted with grace under fire and I am so immensely proud of that person (A, you know who you are!). I love you, hang in there! There are people on your side, we are one such family. Others can learn from you.
*I've learned that the above mentioned, along with B (my son) makes up for some of the rest of their generation. You two were raised right.
*I've learned that doing things for myself is something I deserve; walking, reading, writing, watching movies that make me cry....and that whatever I need to do to lift up my spirits and get my mind, body and soul healthy is worth doing so. To have someone by my side (thank you, Nikki!) while doing it, is even better.
*I've learned that one phone call from a long time friend who is deported overseas (Kosovo, to be exact) can put your mind at ease. I'm glad you are safe, Pat!
*After much thinking about life this week, I've learned that blood is not always thicker than water. During this past horrendous year, I received more support from the likes of my 'other kids' and my blog friends (Steven, Meeko and Andrea) more than I have from my siblings. To Ed: We are not bound by blood but together we created blood and you and B are my forever family, my heart and the very sole reason I take that first step into each new day.
*I've learned this week that even $50.00 dollars left in the bank is so much better than where we were a year ago and that I'm okay with that. It will keep building and we will keep surviving, God willing.
*I've learned this week that even if I don't have much to say, or anything to prove, to keep writing (it's cathartic! even if no one else gets it) and that learning and growing is a way to improve my soul and my spirit.
*I've learned this week that good attorney's are hard to come by but when you have a good one by your side, it can make all the difference.
*And last but not least, I'm learning to like myself a little more each day and that the only validation I need comes from within.