Saturday, February 20, 2010

AN EXPLANATION



Yesterday was rough and ended a difficult week of soul searching, self-truth and epiphany's.

First off, I want to deeply apologize to my loyal blog friends for being absent in visiting your blogs of late. I wasn't on the computer much at all this week from Tuesday morning to yesterday (Ed had a four day weekend last week, as well); I spent a lot of time walking, napping, reading, talking to my friend, playing some cards, E-mailing my brothers, watching a little T.V. and spending time talking with Ed and B.

I needed some clarity -- and I got it. Which I then posted about yesterday.

You know, I've received criticism before from fellow bloggers -- and make no mistake, it always bothers me.

What I find interesting is that even though there are bloggers I don't particularly care for, I would never go to their blog and point out to them what I perceive as their faults.

They can write what they want, when they want and vent away. That's what we all create blogs for. I'm not particularly drawn to, for example (as I've mentioned before) the 'Mommy blogs'. Been there, done that.

However, again, I would never go to another persons blog and tell them 'Enough already with the mommy thing!'.

They resonate and connect with other 'Mommy bloggers' and I love and appreciate that they have that outlet to share with others who live life in a similar way. It just doesn't particularly interest me per se.

I connect to those who either have no children or have adult children like myself.

Had blogging been around when I was raising my kids, most likely I would have participated in blogging about the difficulties and especially the many joys of child rearing. Every Mom's bragging rights.

Back to my point: I was told that in my many posts I use the word "I" a lot.

Guilty. Again. Seems I am always guilty of breaking some kind of blogging rule, eh?

After I calmed down, I responded that I use my blog as a venting tool. I say things on here that I have difficulty conveying in my life. I express my thoughts, my interests, my wishes, my hopes, dreams, my wants and needs. Because, as I stated in response to this person, my life is spent for others.

There are times I mind and times I don't.

I do express my wish for more fulfillment outside of home life now that my kids are grown and express my wish for privacy and time, not just for myself but with Ed and B.

Make no mistake, the people I do for, also do for me. If I need something done, they are there giving of their time and efforts and I do express my deep appreciation to them.

I am getting to the point in my life where I am indeed needing time to reflect and figure out my next step, which is I why I began my other blog '90 Days': to see if there is a next step and to help me find what that is. I'm getting proactive in bettering my life (by seeking out therapy, for example, as I stated yesterday) not just for myself, but for those in it who I am blessed to call my family -- immediate and otherwise.

What I don't appreciate is someone stopping by occasionally and putting their own spin on my comments and essentially calling me selfish.

Every single person who blogs can then be called the same thing. These are our blogs to write as we see fit.

You can't skip a month of my posts and then read one making heaps and bounds of assumptions about my person and motives and proceed to call me out causing me embarrassment by commenting on what you see wrong with me.

You are entitled like everyone else to your opinion but again, I would never go to your blog and point out what I see as your selfish behavior.

Just something to chew on.

I don't want to start to moderate my comments but this last one has me considering doing so.

This would be a classic case of think before you act -- especially with someone like myself who is already admittedly in a fragile state and who is trying to do something about that.

I know what my faults are and don't need them pointed out to me no matter how well meaning they are put.

If one knows anything about me and what I give to others, then that shouldn't have ever been pointed out.

I'll be back likely later today or on Monday to visit my friends blogs. My sincere apologies for the delay in that.

My advice for the day: be careful how you tread and how deep you leave your imprints.

8 comments:

Ms Bibi said...

I am so sorry Jo. I hope I wasn't one of those people being critical of you...I try very hard not to judge because unless you walked in the other other person's shoes you have no right to cast a judgment.

I can't believe that someone would actually leave comments like that. From the beginning I enjoyed coming over and experiencing your journey with you.I have elementary school age children and I kinda belong to the mommy group, but I feel like I understand where you coming from and what you're dealing with for most parts. You've been a loyal bloggy friend to me and I hope that can remain unchanged.

Jo said...

Ms. Bibi -- you sweet, silly, lovely lady. In no way was that directed at you. The person knows to whom it was directed and they ought to be ashamed of themselves. They then took it a step further using bits and pieces of things I have shared on my blog to use it against me telling me that I am a bad mother and that there's a reason I'm going through all of this. I deleted it and have since set my comments up for moderation.

No worries, doll. I adore you and your 'Mommy blog'. ;) Yours is one of the few I do follow: your honest approach to life, love and motherhood is endearing. Don't change a thing.

Thank you for your kind, supportive comments.

~Jo

GregoryJ said...

You have to take time for you. Don't worry about other bloggers. We all go through it probably and should understand.
No on should criticize you for what you post. If they don't like it, Good bye, don't let the door hit you...
Don't we all use the word I. Who writes in the third person? They would be the ones to watch out for.
There can't be a blogging rule about that. I don't think there are any blogging rules except in small minds. Do what you want. Please.

I hope that one stupid selfish comment I made when I was down didn't bother you too much. I got rid of it. I apologize for it.

Good to see you back.

Jo said...

It didn't bother me at all, Gregory, but thank you.

As I stated to Ms. Bibi in the comment before yours, the person knows who she is and what she said; totally unnecessary and hurtful -- which was her objective, no doubt.

I have since moderated my comments and otherwise, all is well here.

Thanks for checking in on me, and for the encouraging words about therapy, Gregory.

I'll keep everyone posted as things progress.

I'll be back next week to return the blog love to 'my peeps'.

Hugs,
~Jo

Steven Anthony said...

I love you...I love your blog...I think u r cool...I enjoy our visits...I think u rock

I could go on... lol

(enough I's?)

Love ya

Leah said...

Glad to have you back my dear. Hope things are a little better now. :-)

Meeko Fabulous said...

You already know how I feel about this . . . I've said it once, I'll say it again . . . You can use the word 'I' as much as you want cause it's YOUR blog. It really amuses me how some people have the nerve to come to your blog and rip you one when I bet they simply wouldn't have the balls to do it in person.

{ Persis Shah } said...

i love your blog. i stopped by from SITS and went through so many of your posts.

Coming back to this one, i think most lady bloggers are here to put into words their lives and to articulate their feelings and hopefully find some fellow bloggers that relate to this and have been there done that. if people wish to know about world history and global news...they should go visit wikipedia rather than a blog. i completely think you stand justified writing about your life and experiences....keep going...

p.s the cardinal rule of blogging is to refrain from criticizm and not so nice comments, its not about not talking about your self too much =)

p.p.s you are so pretty! and so is "C"!

all the best...

~persis.
http://onestylemile.blogspot.com/