Monday, February 22, 2010
DOTTING THE I's
Carrying over from my last post and keeping with the "I" theme, I read an article this weekend in 'LA YOGA' magazine. We don't live in L.A. (we're about an hour and a half east of L.A., inland) but Ed works there and brought it home for me courtesy of a co-worker. This is in direct correlation with Ed and I both wanting to get centered, find our higher purpose and to achieve a sense of peace after a harrowing financial year where we're searching for acceptance and a way to move forward.
Somebody said to me in a post reply, which I deleted (I will no longer give power to these people -- and have since moderated my comment section) but wanted to further address this issue before moving on that "going bankrupt isn't the worse thing to happen to someone".
For the record, I agree. I certainly have been through worse (and many people much, much worse -- one of my blogger friends, for example, suffered horrible mental abuse at the hands of his father) and would like to say that I only write about what I choose to -- people only know what I choose to share. I'm pretty much an open book but there is still much left unsaid and many of us, I'm sure, can say the same.
The article I read was on 'life guru' Marianne Williamson whom I've loved since the 90's. She is the most self-actualized and enlightened person I've ever 'known'.
She says: "There's nothing negative about yelling 'FIRE!' if the house is burning.....What's negative is the complacency with which we allow certain things to happen in our midst."
I couldn't agree more which is why I started this blog. I'm not 'crying wolf' about bankruptcy and the toll it took. It was indeed present and damaging.
It's what I choose to do about it from this point on that will define us.
Did I think that blogging would change my life and make the bankruptcy go away? Absolutely not.
But I can share and write about what I know. I can try to find that grace I spoke of a few posts back.
I've only come to recently realize that there's nothing wrong with my being a work in progress -- it's when one thinks they have all the solutions and answers to life's turmoils that we find ourselves in trouble.
So, I share about my truth on here and what I know to be true. Although, I acknowledge that others do indeed have it worse, I can't and won't speak for other people and their pain. Everyone channels their grief and turmoil differently and I cannot tell others how to deal with theirs.
So, I guess I found it interesting that a very big judgment was placed on me by people taking my own admissions -- via blog -- about my relationship with my daughter, for example, and then putting their own spin on it by basically 'calling me out' saying everything we have gone through this past year was in essence deserved.
I take umbrage to that as there is never any reason to kick someone while they're down.
Again, no one knows the whole truth about my life other than what I choose to put in front of you.
Martin Luther King Jr. said: "Your life begins to end on the day when you stop talking about the things that matter most."
I don't believe he said: "Now take everything that person purges and throw it back up in their face."
Marianne Williamson goes on to say about MLK's wise words: "With all the unnecessary suffering in the world today, this is not the time to keep your mouth shut."
Do I think I have suffered more than others?
That's a big hell no.
Haiti, The Holocaust, Multiple Sclerosis, Cancer, Tibet, Global Warming, poverty, foreclosures, bankruptcy, child predators, bigotry, racism, hate crimes, gay bashing, abuse...I could go on.
My own personal story is just one of many pertaining to foreclosure and bankruptcy and it's ill affects.
When one has $50.00 for two weeks of food, toiletries, I found that I was indeed grateful to have a place to vent, but in no way during my time on here blogging about my truth, did I think for one moment I was in an 'exclusive club' -- nor did I think my words would come back and haunt me by someone looking to put their own spin on things.
I will not be shamed by what I write just as I will continue to battle alongside my friend who has MS, to fundraise, to enlighten and to give what I can to those who need it and encourage my friends and family to do the same. If one cannot look past their own needs to those of others, then there was no point in us ever going through any of this. Anyone who truly knows anything about me and my family, already know this about us and should go without saying.
In conclusion of today's post, Marianne Williamson says: "For over three centuries, generation after generation of people with daughters knew that if a little girl was too passionate, too outspoken -- if she had a powerful intuition, if she was just a little 'too much' -- then she might literally be dragged away some day, tortured to get her to confess that she'd had sex with the devil, and then based on her 'confession,' legally burned at the stake."
Okay, now, who wants to call me a martyr?
C'mon, I know some of you are thinking it or thinking that's what I equate myself to.
So, to end this post let me just say, don't let anyone deter your focus, write what you damned well please and do so with zero inhibitions.
So, "I" will continue on my quest to personal fulfillment for the betterment of myself and my family. We will be in this together and separate and we will be all the better for having done so.
To those of you who sent me personal E-mail's of support, I love you madly. Madly, I tell you!
EDIT: I want to thank Gregory for my 'Beautiful Blogger' award and will pick it up later today or tomorrow and pass it along accordingly. Thank you, Gregory, for thinking me worthy. Your pearls of wisdom and support mean a great deal.
Peace and serenity,