Wednesday, February 10, 2010

DEAR PAT



My friend, you have been gone wayyy too long. Has being in Kosovo made you delusional? What the bloody hell are they feeding you over there?


Let's clear a few things up, shall we?

*I will never live in 'Stepford' or a facsimile thereof. I'm glad you like it there but you, your ex-wife and all those Gucci purse toting, poodle walking, fake boobs, designer hair cut, Ugg wearing women can have it. I'm happily placed in the real world.












*I'm proud to be a Democrat.












*Have we really known each other 30 years??? And, if so, why haven't we killed each other yet, my polar opposite counterpart?

*I tried to upload your picture but it was too big for this format. It's the one where you're in your camoflauge in front of the helicopter. Do you have a different one you can E-mail me?

*I will NEVER root for The Raiders, so, my converting to the dark side will just have to remain part of your delusions.










*Seriously, what are they feeding you???

*Have I mentioned you're delusional?

Seriously.












*Have I also mentioned that I miss you? No?











*Would you be interested in being my guest blogger???? You could blog a post about our life 'back in the day' (and I'll post it on here) or we could do a Q & A? Think about it. I'll wait. That is all. Thank you.

*Please tell me you've met a lovely woman you're going to marry and bring home to --E-gads! -- Stepford!

*And then tell me you're going to then move to Riverside so we can hang out more when you get home....

*I think my bridesmaid dress should be purple.

I'm just sayin'.












*Tell Chris I said hi and that he's a dork. A big one.

*When you get back, we should go to a Paramount H.S. football game, wearing bullet proof vests, of course. I'll take a medium.










*Think I'll watch 'The Last Of The Mohicans' tonight. I know how much you -- eh hem -- love it. Daniel Day Lewis with long hair and a loincloth. Need I say more?












*About our project: I've been giving it a lot of thought and this week has been crazy. I'm looking at early next week to send you the prologue. Have lots of ideas running through my mind.












*Start blogging! You are part of a grand experience that you can share with readers. Most of us have never been out of the country and we can visit Kosovo through your words. Think about it.








*Er, never mind. I forget about you speaking fluent 'typo-nese'. How I've understood your E-mail's and texts all these years is beyond me.

*Oh, the hell with it! Just write and in the name of all that is holy, use the spell check.












Be safe and well over there. Call me next week after I send you the prologue.

Love you.

4 comments:

Steven Anthony said...

ohhhhhhhhhhhh PLEASE do a q and a, you can give us all the dirt on our good friend Jo;) (he says with a smirk and a wink)

Jo said...

I think I will, Steven. I'm kind of digging that idea...I'll run it by him. :)

Allen said...

Q&A would be a cool idea!

Meeko Fabulous said...

Yup! Can't wait to read a guest post! :)